what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
