Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
