u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My ATM looks so different sober.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
