Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
PANTIES FOUND
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