Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I love you. Go after that dick
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
