I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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