so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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