i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
they need to just BURY HIM!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
