Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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