Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
