dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You're like the curious george of whores
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
