Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
