He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
