I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
