I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
