You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
