You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
