i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
