just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
