Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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