3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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