mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
