well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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