whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
