Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
