You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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