omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
