honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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