see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
