he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
