THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
