I must be too annoying 4 u.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
