He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
