It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
