Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
