Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
