problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize