he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I need a burrito and a hug.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
