Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize