life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
