Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
