I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
