no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
