Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
