We're facebook friends in real life
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
