you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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