so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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