He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
