Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Houston, we have a blender
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
