yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
