just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
