Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
