Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
