The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
