I hope mine doesn't look like that
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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