sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
