a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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