8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
