3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Help me help you realize you are a moron
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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