dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
