____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
time to smoke my breakfast
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize