Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
